I was staring at my CLO rendering with associated flaps from OSG the other day and I was unhappy.

Could a depressed person do this?

It’s kind of hard to see with the black, but it looks like his nipples are sobbing; you know, like the emoji with the sobbing tears in a straight line down its face… There’s just something that feels stupid about this to me 😭

Part of the problem is that the silhouette of the jacket is a little off. The sleeves are too short and a little slim. The body is too baggy. I want to fix this because I think it’ll help me feel better about how it looks.

The plan here, in order, is:

  1. take my measurements based on the measurements CLO avatars require
  2. update the avatar’s measurements in CLO
  3. manually measure every pattern piece I can, based on my original real J28
  4. update the length of the 2D pattern pieces in CLO to match those measurements
  5. adjust as necessary.

Silhouette work is boring, but it’s critical if I want to feel good about the result.

Putting aside the silhouette, though, the photo flaps I was headed toward just felt kind of… stupid.

  • So, I’m revising one of the design criteria for the photo panels. I changed my mind and decided I didn’t want the wearer to walk around showing off their photos. I feel they should be a hidden thing that the wearer can look at themselves, or show people; it feels weird to have the photo flaps on a semi-permanent display. Having a fun ‘secret’ is the new goal.

After rethinking the panels, I noticed a feeling, which is a dread about upcoming posts. I didn’t want all these posts to be about a series of ideas that morph into other ideas and then never get made. I felt guilty emailing people with multiple updates in which… nothing happened (very much including this post you are reading!).

It made me worry I was engaging in “motion,” a concept from Atomic Habits. I read the book a few years ago, but my mom got me a copy for my birthday and I reread it recently. It’s really good, even if you’re not usually into that type of book.

The author writes:

⚛️
When you’re in motion, you’re planning and strategizing and learning. Those are all good things, but they don’t produce a result. Action, on the other hand, is the type of behavior that will deliver an outcome.

Here are some examples…

If I outline 20 ideas for articles I want to write, that’s motion. If I actually write and publish an article, that’s action.

If I email 10 new leads for my business and start conversations with them, that’s motion. If they actually buy something and turn into a customer, that’s action.

If I search for a better diet plan and read a few books on the topic, that’s motion. If I actually eat a healthy meal, that’s action.

If I go to the gym and ask about getting a personal trainer, that’s motion. If I actually step under the bar and start squatting, that’s action.

Sometimes motion is useful, but it will never produce an outcome by itself. It doesn’t matter how many times you go talk to the personal trainer, that motion will never get you in shape. Only the action of working out will get the result you’re looking to achieve.

I’m not convinced what I did was motion — because I was acting. I mocked up my idea for the panels in CLO, then realized that they didn’t fit what I was looking for, and then explored another avenue.

I do have a specific avenue in mind… but I find myself wondering: how soon can I make the thing? Will it be 3 months from now and I’m still messing around in CLO without having sewn anything?

I know this is some unspoken belief talking.

What is that belief?

When I examine it, I find:

“You need to make the thing or else there’s no point.”

What’s interesting is that I know this belief all too well, I’ve seen it show up many times before (usually during ‘projects’ like this one). It’s harmful. It’s led me to work on stuff that I don’t care about. I’ve ‘made’ plenty of things for which there has still been no point.

And I’ve also taken many actions that don’t result in a ‘made thing’ — and yet have been very meaningful.

I guess my takeaway here is that I’m noticing this thought trying to dictate how I behave. I’ve been cognitively fusing with the thought and had difficulty detaching from it, at least until this post. As a result, I’ve felt like what I’ve done so far is ‘not enough.’

When I hit publish on the most recent OSG post, I thought, “Man, will anybody even want to read this? You didn’t accomplish anything new, just went into detail about some existing stuff and wrote a ton of design criteria that even you found boring upon re-reading. And your next post is just going to be what, a small reconfiguration of some panels? Can you genuinely feel OK pushing this stuff into peoples’ inboxes? It must feel like spam to them. In the 0.0.6 post, you told a compelling story but in this 0.0.7 post, you just rambled about technical stuff for a long time.”

Taking a step back from those thoughts and feelings: I’m learning to make a jacket.

That involves a variety of steps and missteps, and, well, all the other tough parts that come with learning.

I’m also identifying areas of the jacket that I wish to change, which gives me new challenges to tackle. I have an approach of how I can adjust the avatar measurements to match mine; and how I can try to improve specific parts of the silhouette; I have an idea of how I want to change the design for the photo panels; and then I have the whole hood pattern piece to add into 2D and implement.

That’s a lot of stuff, and just because it’s in 3D software doesn’t mean that nothing is happening or moving forward. Each change to the software model represents a much more efficient way of doing the same thing on paper.

I guess there are a few approaches here:

  • I could publish new OSG posts without pushing them to email
  • I could just not give a shit and publish anything I want to, and let people unsubscribe if they’re not interested

I like option 2 the best. To remind myself, the OSG blog is just for fun. There’s no real pressure. I have no real audience with any expectations. And as long as I keep learning and having fun, I’m moving in the direction I want to be moving in.